At the age of 16, I felt I am gay. It was in preschool that I wanted to be a mom while playing house and that’s when I started noticing the differences. Confused with this known unknown I consulted a therapist. I felt like I lost the ground under my feet when the therapist said that I was transgender. I battled through a lot of depression as a generation of people back then had not much acceptance of this form of existence. People like me were not very welcome in society.
My brother doesn’t speak to me as he doesn’t feel like taking my name. My mother was accepting a bit of my originality. Certain procedures do make help a person look physically, a particular gender, but you don’t need one when you feel it from inside. Therefore I like to be who I am and chose to be a woman now.
Friendships were hard to manage. Community friends are always hard to keep in contact with. At a certain point in life, you always feel a need of having a better half. I do not feel sad to be alone in my life but I do not want to die with no one beside me. 2-3 years ago I thought I liked only men. Now I just like whom I like. I am happy to be bisexual, demisexual, and outspoken.
People I was in a relationship with, never lied or made false promises that they would be there forever with me. So there were constant rejections. Few excuses that they made were legitimate but not all; like what would people think or family thinks. None of the relationships lasted longer than 6 months. Recently I have been in a relationship with someone but she has legitimate excuses.
I have had a friendship with a woman who was married. Her husband didn’t treat her well at all. Unfortunately, she lost her husband after a while. We didn’t have a conversation for 2 months. Later, the friendship grew into love, unconditional love to say. I like the love shown in harry potter, star trek, pure and just innocent. We started cuddling pretty much like the school romance that feels good when you are close to each other. Though I didn’t expect her to be with me coz I loved her unconditionally.
It feels lonely to be transgender, especially in the IT field. I was rejected many a time in interviews for the reason of who I am. I had an internship in the US and got the job. I asked my manager if I could color my hair pink but he didn’t allow me to. On my birthday, no celebrations were arranged and I felt that I wasn’t welcome. During the pandemic, I was working from home and not going to the office but was asked to. Also, I am often misgendered because of my masculine appearance. We are told not to speak too much, most often misgendered by people who have already undergone diversity training.
In toastmasters club, a person told me that I am not good at my job and that I should leave the firm. To this, I asked him to leave instead. Not everyone is like them. I don’t allow people to disrespect me in the workplace. I demand respect. In my current company Infosys, I was more accepted for my differences than at other places. I learned that many religions condemn people like me but this is not the case with Hinduism. If I were to wish something from India, it would be an Indian mother.
Toastmasters gave me the platform to voice who I am, to express, and has helped me become a better person. I made good connections through this club and I was welcomed with open arms in Arizona. I could proudly say that I created the first toastmasters club in Infosys outside India, here in Arizona. I am also part of the LGBTQ club in Arizona and Unicorn International. I have also planned to start a Disney-themed club online.
I do my work with utmost dedication and live happily with my cat Sage. I think personally that if we are able to see the similarities, we would stop seeing the differences.
My goal in life is to connect the world in terms of commonalities.
Total Work Experience : 2 Years (Infosys)