Nikita Bansal

That day I was alone in my flat when I received that phone call. I have never been alone in a flat in my entire life, and it was my very first experience. When I picked up the phone and talked, it became the most frightening thing ever. I had never felt so helpless, anxious, scared, and lonely at the same time. That phone call changed everything that day.

I was born in Delhi and was super close to my grandparents (Nana, Nani), my uncle (Mama), and my aunt (Mausi). Like any other kid, I would wait for the summer holidays so that I could go home and visit them. They all used to love me and my brother to the core. One day my brother fell from the balcony, my mama was so traumatized by that incident that he lost his voice till the day my brother was fully recovered. The love and compassion were beyond explanation.  Eventually, we all grew up and I joined college. I was in my second year when my Nani fell from the stairs and broke her bone. The doctor said that she requires surgery and we admitted her to the hospital. The surgery was successful, and she was taking rest on her bed, suddenly she turned and fell down from the hospital bed, the doctor rushed back in and said some of the stitches had opened up and they have to re-do everything. The second surgery however wasn’t much of a success, she got infected and lost complete sensation to her body. She couldn’t move at all for 4 years, I sometimes used to get so inspired by her, even though she was in pain she never made anyone else’s life uncomfortable. She wouldn’t shout, scream or demand anything. I had never seen such a pure soul in my entire life. After a few months, we all realized that her time has come near. I had never seen losing anyone in my entire life so it was very difficult for me to sink in everything. She died on 19th August 2016, I cried like anything. It felt like my heart was sinking. It was 2018 when I got my very first job offer, I badly wanted to share the news with her but she wasn’t there.

On 19th August 2018, I was in my office training period when suddenly my cousin called me and said, “I hope you are doing fine, it’s such sad news.”. I asked her “What news?”. She then changed the topic and ignored the conversation. I called up my mom and asked her if everything is alright? She told me, yes everything is fine, I should focus on my office training right now. I was very sure that she was trying to hide something. So I called my father because he is not very good at lying. When I talked to him he told me that everything is alright but accidentally told me that my mother is in Delhi at Nanaji’s place. I got scared, I called up my mother and asked her to tell me the truth. She casually told me that my Nanaji was not well and now everything is alright. She made me talk to Nanaji and he seemed perfectly fine to me. So I believed everything. I then got posted to Bhubaneswar and with a new job and career, life became pretty hectic. It was during Diwali when I was planning to go back home. All of my flatmates had left and I was the last one. It was late night and I was pretty scared but also excited to live alone for the very first time for one day at least. It was then I received a phone call from my Nanaji. He asked me how I was doing? I was pretty confused why is he talking at midnight for so long. He then suddenly asks “When was the last time you spoke to your Mama?”. I said, “ 3 months back, everyone would tell me that he is busy or somewhere and I never got the chance to talk to him”. He said, “That’s because your Mamaji died 3 months ago”.

I can never explain in words what I felt at that moment, I was alone in my flat but that loneliness was of something else, I spent my entire night crying, still trying to process what exactly happened. One person, who stood thick and thin through my entire life was no more. That feeling of emptiness and anxiousness was hitting hard and no matter how much I tried, it wasn’t going away. When I went home, I asked my mother what exactly happened, she told me that my Mama had jaundice which went undiagnosed, he drank alcohol one night and it acted as poison, eventually killing him on 19th August 2018. Exactly the same date, my Nani died.

And I just stood there with the loss of words, listening to her, all numb!

Total Work Experience : 4 Years (Infosys)