Ruth Vinodhini

I didn’t cry when my father passed away.

I was in my 4th Grade when I lost my dad and to everyone’s surprise, I did not feel like crying or didn’t even feel bad. My dad was a drunkard and he never stayed with us. He used to visit us only once or twice in a month. During his last few days, he used to drink a lot and,he even contracted  jaundice and was admitted to a hospital for almost a month. When I was very small, he used to come to visit us and I wouldn’t let him in.

One thing in my life that always used to bother and hunt me was that he was never there during my school class admissions, parent day functions and other such events where all my classmates used to bring their parents. I used to ask my mom at times annoyingly the reason for his absence in my life, she used to stay silent since she too had a void inside. To encourage me,so that I don’t give up on my academics or extra-curricular activities, my grandfather used to come and see all my programmes.

Then one day my father expired and mom conveyed me the message, I precisely remember, I didn’t cry, I didn’t even feel sad. When the last rites were performed, I was asked to do some things but I vehemently refused to do it, my mother tried to convince me to do his last rites but I still did not want to do it. My mom was a teacher and she has raised me and my sister with proper etiquette.

My mom is a very cool person and she used to say, “I am giving you both all the freedom you want, whatever you do, do it right,since we already had one black sheep in our family and I don’t want you to become one, never misuse your freedom.” My mom is my biggest strength in all these turmoils. I was the naughtiest kid but she never gave up on me.

When I was around 16-18, surprisingly I started to miss my Dad for some reason. I believed that only a father had the right to make some harsh decisions in his daughter’s life. But now every man related to my life tried to put their opinions on how I should lead my life.

This was when I felt he should have been here,  since every man only tried to take advantage of me being a fatherless kid, no one ever got my emotions or give me the love I was yearning for. Honestly, I didn’t cry when he died, but now I cry and miss him.

Ruth – A person known for her enthusiastic nature and love, but it took quite a long time to build this personality. Cut to covid scene; Pre covid I was working in an IT Company as an HR. During covid, I got the time to serve some of the God’s people.Later in my life, I too have a wish to open an NGO.

Spirituality: I tried attempting suicide due to many reasons but somehow God saved me from it every time and that’s how my belief in spirituality began.

Especially I want to say that God has made plans for everyone and things seem to somehow work out in the end. I heard people telling “kill people with success, but I tell you , kill people with your love and kindness” ,the world needs more of it.

Love, Love, Love as much as you can! It could be a smile to the stranger on the road. A hug to a person who feels unwanted. A word of hope to someone beside you. A call to tell you are remembered. Each day God is making me stronger and giving me a reason to live. I’m fighting, I’m living, I’m taking it slowly, I’m loving it, I’m strong, I’m not what I was. And I’m here to tell no matter what people did to me, I STILL CHOSE TO FORGIVE AND LOVE THEM. Whenever I sit with my mom, I always tell her that I have lots of people who will stand by me when if I lose something, as I have served many people (on a funny note). If I could survive this! You too can!

Total Work Experience : 2 Years (Accenture, Procter & Gamble)