Love, Horoscope & Domestic Violence – Part 1
In November 2019, I told my father about the girl I loved. I said I wanted to marry her. But he said ‘No’.
Even though my father is not a professional, he knows astrology. People use to come to him to get their horoscope read and get suggestions. When my girlfriend and I were discussing about the criterias my father was looking into – horoscope was one of them. Apart from that we belonged to same caste and had same title. In a way we thought, we were in a win-win situation, but hardly knew her horoscope was going to be the greatest hurdle.
The moment she knew that my father read horoscopes, she had said – “I am going to get rejected. I have a lot of doosas (flaws)” I, as obvious it may seem, had proudly said that my father could find the solutions. I think it was the month of July and year was 2019. Then, we only liked each other. She was sceptical about me for 2 reasons. First, we were in a long distance relationship. Though we had met in Bhubaneswar, she had transferred to Hyderabad. Secondly, she had been cheated a couple of times. Those incidents had left an impression which was hard to get rid of.
When I showed her horoscope to my father, he wasn’t happy. I had told him that it was my colleague’s horoscope and she wanted to know details as to why her marriage wasn’t happening. I was petrified. He had said – hardly any solution was possible. Still he had suggested a solution to one of the many problems she had.
In October 2019, she was in Bhubaneswar. To my delight, she confessed her love for me. In November, we started talking to our parents. The moment she told her father about me, he called me to their home. I was bewildered and thought that it won’t be a good thing to surpass my parents and go to their home to discuss about marriage. I was yet to discuss about us before them. I had already told my mother but she was reluctant. So I took the responsibility on my shoulders. I travelled to Cuttack, to my home. I told my father everything. He agreed on a condition that if any astrologer could show some possible solutions.
From there, I consulted a couple of astrologers. My girlfriend and I did match making a couple of times and everything seemed good. The next time when I approached my father, he rejected the idea to consult any other astrologer. I was deeply hurt and cried like hell before my parents. Both my father and mother didn’t budge. “Get rid of the thought and move on” – this was the last thing they had said.
I shared all the details with my girlfriend. Sometimes we cried over call. I kept trying and kept consulting other astrologers. I had even asked an aunt to intervene. She wasn’t related to us by blood yet I always felt at ease to share everything with her. She had tried to talk but my mother weakened her by saying – “What if it were your son?!”
February 2020 was the last month of my notice period in the previous organisation. Was it by luck or by God’s blessings, I had got hired to another company and they had asked me to join Hyderabad on 28th February. I was excited for 2 reasons – I and my girlfriend were going to be together and undoubtedly the other reason was that I was joining for a better salary and better role. Before leaving for Hyderabad, I had tried again to discuss with my parents. Yet again their answer was ‘No’.
When I reached Hyderabad, my girlfriend was there to pick me up from the station. As I was new to the city, she took me to my friend’s flat. I could have travelled myself but she gave me company. Upon reaching the station, I had broken the news of my father’s denial. I clearly remember, when we were travelling to my friend’s house in an auto, with my luggage, she had put her head on my shoulder. She was sad.
The next day she broke up with me. She was getting a lot of pressure from her parents for marriage. At one point of time, her parents had accepted me, but seeing the delay, they didn’t want to wait. It seemed she was pushed to the edge. That day, she cried like hell on the call. She confessed her love again but she wasn’t able to take the strain any more as her parents and relatives had started questioning the sanctity of our relationship. This was painful.
For the next few days, I wasn’t in good shape. I had lost all the excitement. I kept calling my girlfriend or her friend. I had stopped speaking to my parents. I felt I was going through hell. It was then, when COVID outbreak came into the picture. I had planned to take flight but lockdown happened. Whatever the situation, maybe I got a chance to patch things up. Somehow I got her back. We returned Odisha in July.
During the time of lockdown, I had done self-mirroring, where I had missed being a son to my parents. Till September, I gave efforts in understanding them. They were happy. Then again, I initiated the discussion. Guess what? It was again a ‘NO’… based on the grounds of astrology. I always thought if my father had met her in person, he would have admired her. But he kept judging her based on her horoscope .I was about to give up when like a boon, she had come up with a suggestion. She advised me to write to my father; because writing was my forte. She said – “If I can understand, why your father can’t?”