I dropped a mail to my father. It was tough to discuss again as he never let me complete my words. So I thought a mail would make things clear. It was Friday. He hadn’t checked his inbox. So, I asked him to check mail on Sunday. It was almost four pages long. I had written about myself and about my love for my girlfriend. I had clearly stated that it was impossible for me to walk on his principles and outlook. I was completely opposite in most of the characteristics. I wanted him to accept my individuality. Some of my friends had thought he would understand and agree to me. But….He took the mail in a negative way. He said I was telling that he was good for nothing. He got angry for bringing up that old topic. The next day, I literally threatened to leave the house. My mother was in tears. That’s when my father said that if I stepped out of the house he would kick my mother out. I agreed to stay on a condition that they would understand me and accept my girlfriend.
Late in the night, when I was sitting on the terrace, alone, my mother came to me and asked me about everything. I told her everything about my girlfriend and my experiences. I thought, being a woman she would understand. After listening to everything, she rather declined. “I know you love her a lot, some bad might have happened to her in the past but I believe in your father’s astrology. I would not accept”. I had given my word and I had already decided.
The first half of the next day was silent. In the evening, my mother caught me speaking to her on the terrace. I didn’t want to hide, but given the conditions I behaved awkwardly. Then happened something I will never forget. My mother stormed downstairs scolding me and her. When my father understood, he also started shouting. Something had to be decided. He took bath and had evening snacks after that. My mother kept pestering to accept my father’s decision. It was then my father started using slangs and cuss words for her, her family and my mother. It was intolerable. The comments that were coming were very insulting, never felt like they were coming from a highly educated man. I also had started shouting but never used slang. I wanted to cry but controlled it. My mother kept mum. “How can you listen to this? I trusted you. I told you her story. But is this what she deserves? Or you? How can you remain silent?” Those words were tearing me apart. I ran to the terrace and stayed there for an hour. My mother tried to give me company but her silence was paining me. When I returned, there was another scene. “There’s no food for tonight for everyone until he accepts my decision” – my father had said. When I didn’t give in, he again gave a timeline of 3 minutes. Again I didn’t give in. Then… he punched me, he started beating my mother. He held her neck from behind and tried to push her out of the house. “Why!” I yelled. “Because she has given birth to you” – it was his reply. He had fallen low. My mother wasn’t trying to take a stand and willingly allowing it. I protested physically by coming between them.
Then my father called my aunt and got my girlfriend’s number. My mother called her. “Hi, do you want to break this house apart”. The speaker was on, I heard her sobbing. She was the kind of girl ready to sacrifice herself for my happiness. My mother gave me phone after telling her to break all the ties with me. My voice was trembling yet I said I was still holding my stand. They tried to snatch phone from me. I hung up. They called her again. “Has your father taught to do love marriage, not to marry as per parent’s wishes?” my mother’s words were piercing like spear. I forcibly took the phone and disconnected the call. I saw there was a sense of accomplishment on my parent’s faces. “It’s over, let’s have dinner” – they said. I was infuriated and broken into million pieces. I knew, the one I loved, got blamed for just loving me back and caring for me. There was usage of foul words. She must have broken like me.
It was 11 pm. I started packing my bags. They started snatching things from me. Eventually it happened they gave me a piece of paper to write down that for me, my parents were dead. I did that without flinching. Just after that, my father again started pushing my mother, grabbing her from neck, out of the house. This was when my anger went through the roof.
I went berserk and pushed him so hard that he fell on the bed and struck his wrist of wooden bed side. Today, he is having a hair line fracture. He still feels that he did the right thing. I don’t talk to him much and even said that I am not able to regard him as my father. He keeps blaming my girlfriend, and my friends. I haven’t fared as a son but what happened I will never forget. It was unfair to judge someone’s character on the basis of horoscope.
I never disregarded science, astrology being a part of it. But using it to demean someone was not acceptable. We could have run away and got married but we didn’t do it. Rather I believed my parents would understand my feelings. Almost everyone said that. However, the way things turned out, was beyond imagination.
Every now and then, my mother scolds me and keeps telling the list of things they have done as parents. But I am not able to erase all that has happened. It keeps coming to me. I am no more myself.