Anonymous Post (Sexual Abuse)

One day my colleague started touching me inappropriately in the office. The way he touched me was so uncomfortable that it made me startle every time a male from my family touched me with affection and care, be it my wrist or shoulder. Each and every time when a male family member approached me, the incident flashed in front of my eyes and pushed me into a loop of my conflicting feelings. I was convinced that I was a prey to everyone’s eyes.

I was born in a very normal family and was loved and pampered a lot, not only by my parents but also by my relatives and others as well. I only knew the language of love that was depicted by my elders, my siblings and friends. But as I grew up, I started realizing that love had some other meaning and it depends upon the person you are with.

My wish was to pursue modelling, but my mom was against it. I had no other option other than to agree with her and become an IT professional. I travelled to many different places as a part of my job profile. I met so many people with different shades, not only in their skin tones but also in characters.

In a totally new place with new cultures, I made a new set of friends. My teammates are the leading characters of my story. For me, love was the feeling of protection, care, affection and freedom that I got from my family. But here I tasted a new flavor of it. My colleague, who was supposed to be my guide, misunderstood my attachment with him. He started touching me inappropriately, I was extremely uncomfortable and didn’t know what to do! A lot of things were going in my mind but I was too scared to be vocal about it. His gestures made me uncomfortable day by day. He started calling me on my cellphone regularly and would send inappropriate text everyday. I tried acting out normal in the office, forcing myself to believe that things will become alright. I was cursing myself everyday and I didn’t even know why? But, I did. I thought it was all my fault. Days passed, but my colleagues behavior and freedom towards me inside and outside of the office seemed different. I started to realize that maybe I was wrong for not being vocal about it, I had to stand up for myself. In my head I was scared that the repercussions will be bad from his side when he will be fired from this job. But I had to do it, for myself. I gathered some courage and complained about him to the higher authority. When we had a discussion about these incidents, I was shocked by their response. Even though I had all the proofs, I was the one who was targeted and was told that I am the one who deliberately flaunts in front of him and misleads. I wanted to cry so badly that day. All my hopes were lost just in a few minutes and I was referred as a characterless woman.

Ancestors have said “Apne log and apni mitti hi apni hoti he, baaki sb paraya dhan he”. Since he was the senior in the project, no higher authority wanted him to leave, so they turned the table completely against me. I had no other option other than to quit my job.

I decided to leave the city that never sleeps. There was no point of me staying in the company, so I left. I was so shaken up with that incident that whenever any male member from my family just touches my shoulder, my whole body gets paralyzed. I wanted to share my story with the world so that such things never happen to anyone anywhere and I believe every girl/woman should speak up for themselves because if you do, at least someone who is going through the same would stand by your side.

Total Work Experience : Anonymous